Tough... Love

I've been stressed this past week, experienced bouts of anger and rage...felt like just letting go of all decorum and discipline.

Its hard when you are going through a difficult patch in a relationship with someone that you love (no its not a romantic one). I felt so irritated and hurt that i wanted to say words that had as many daggers and blades to do fatal damage....but for the most part i did not.

So today was a fabulous wonderful day. The wedding and the beauty of what it symbolizes spoke to me. The sermonette spoke to me. Preacher said that love is a process...just the same as life. God never gives you something that is perfect because he wants you to experience being part of the making-process. That when you have the Holy Spirit breathing over your life, even the things that seem dark, void and without form will become light in your life. That relationships go through tough periods because they are about perfecting process not an instant. When God is the center love he works things out and transforms the parties involved.

When i was hearing these things i knew that God was impressing me. Even though i think i have been mistreated and been the recipient of unfair actions.....i still have to forgive and move on and try my best to make things work. I don't really want to cause i don't think that i am the one who should have to bear that responsibility- but if that is the only way that i will live in peace
and this relationship can endure this rough time then God just help me to do it!

So i saw today the beauty of two imperfect humans seeing the beauty in each other, seeing the worth of commitment and promising each other that they would devote their lives to making the other one their priority. To treat treasure like so and not as trash. To discuss before deciding. To honour and cherish. To remember what brought them together in the first place. If this love can be seen in human beings as imperfect as we are- then life is more amazing than i thought it to be. No hang-ups on an instant now but trying to look at the process and what i can do personally instead of looking at the other person all the time and playing the blame game.

I'm not sure that venting would be such a good idea, i wonder of some things are really better left unsaid. Just help me to decide, even though its calm at the moment, there are flare ups every now and again and I'm on the edge. Your the one who knew what he was doing when he created the dependent bonds of family and friends and special someones....your the only one who knows the solution to my problems now....

So here's to LOVE...between a man and a woman who decide to take the great step of saying 'I do'. Here's to my discovery...and maybe maturity that love is hard work and a principle that abides despite whims and temporary feelings of hurt, irritation and anger. LOVE, to the God who is perfecting me through his love and allowing me to experience different shades and tones of Him through people in my life and strangers who pass by every once in a while...

Its hard to love, but is life really worth it without it?